I’ve been accused of being grumpy. I find this offensive. I’m not grumpy — I’m cantankerous. “Grumpy” implies a fleeting bad mood, while “cantankerous” (rightly) asserts that my surly demeanor is a permanent part of my character.
In any event, apparently you folks are tired of the cantankerousness and want some happiness, joy, and sunshine in your lives. So today I present ten positive thoughts for the weekend ahead:
1. You aren’t dead yet
The vast majority of people who have lived in the world are now dead. You aren’t. Congratulations.
2. America isn’t the fattest country in the world
Mexico is fatter than we are now. Yet another reason to avoid Taco Bell.
3. With global warming, your house will be beachfront property in 50 years
Unless you’re already on the beach, in which case your house will be under water. But as mentioned previously, we’re sticking with positive thoughts here today.
4. Nobody saw that embarrassing thing you did yesterday
You totally got away with that one. Now you can just bear your shame privately without having to admit it to the world — score!
5. You’re not likely to get fired over the weekend
You’re safe for now. They’ll wait until Monday.
6. There are over 73 million dogs in the USA
And while some are just ugly, the vast majority of them are ridiculously cute.
7. You are unquestionably in better shape than your 2-month-old self
That little pipsqueak couldn’t even squat half of what you do now!
8. There are 5 states that are more dangerous to live in than Florida
If you lived in Nevada, you probably would have been robbed twice since you started reading this blog post. We’re number 6! We’re number 6!
9. We have a whole 3.5 billion years before the sun gets so hot that it boils the oceans
That’s plenty of time to finish that novel you’ve always said you’d write.
10. Team WOD today!
If that’s not a recipe for weekend fun, I don’t know what is!
Image may be NSFW.
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Team WOD
Teams of 3-4
- Each team is given a deck of cards
- On the call of “3, 2, 1, GO!,” teams flip over the top card in the deck
- The entire team must complete the work corresponding to the flipped card before flipping the next card
What the cards mean:
- Numbered cards (2-10): Each team member must complete that number of reps of the exercise that corresponds to the card’s suit as indicated below:
Spades: air squats
Clubs: situps
Hearts: pushups
Diamonds: pullups - Face cards: Each team member must complete the exercise that corresponds to the face card as indicated below:
Jacks: 10 burpees
Queens: run 200m
Kings: 10 pistols (5 per side)
Aces: The team must re-do the previous 3 cards (Excluding other aces)
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
